Busy Mamma

I've taken busy to a whole new level for me these last couple of months.  I thrive on feeling busy and important so it has been wonderfully refreshing for me.  I'm ready to get back to focusing on my family, but it has been a fantastic experience.  For the past three months my business has been reimbursing a portion of my flight and driving expenses when I go to teach essential oil classes.  I've been to Alaska, California, Montana, Boston, Long Island, Seattle, West Virginia (twice), and Connecticut (twice).  It has been so fun to see old friends and to make new ones.  It has been awesome to help my essential oil business grow and to be a part of creating miracles for people by introducing them to these powerful healing oils.

As much as I enjoy traveling it's just not as fun without Josh.  I wish that I could have taken him with me!  I took the ferry from Long Island to Connecticut.  It was beautiful, but being alone it's almost as if it never happened so I thought I'd include a picture so I can remember.  I have seen and done some amazing things.  The best part has been reconnecting with old friends.  I thank them for trusting me enough to let me teach them and those they love about essential oils.

It has been especially crazy this month as I taught my Joy School rotation for the semester.  The kids are so cute, but all they want to do this time of year is play.  I couldn't agree more.  I want to play too.

We have also successfully completed the end of they year recitals and celebrations. Cara (front left, pink dress) is loving her suzuki music school so we took the plunge and got her a violin this week.  This morning she was trying to practice at the same time Caleb was practicing the piano.  I didn't like the fight that resulted, but it makes me so happy to have them involved and learning music.

Caleb and Cara have had great teachers this year.  Caleb's teacher, Mrs Rees, has really gone the extra mile with science projects and making learning fun.  Today for the last day of school they had "parting pancakes."  Mrs Rees sent some pictures as she often does.

Caleb's class dissected owl pellets a couple of weeks ago.

They also had a science fair (not my favorite project of the year). Caleb did his project on how sound waves change with low and high pitches.  They did a lot of great things.  I am so thankful my children have had fantastic teachers.

Cara's teacher, Mrs Miller obviously loves Cara and has gone the extra mile to help her with all of the resources she possibly could to be successful at reading.

For the last day of school our neighbors, the Millers, had a party.  They rented a bounce house, had cotton candy and lots of friends and fun.  Ready or not it is officially summer vacation!

One thing I've become more aware of as I've traveled outside of Utah is how unusual it is to have five children.  Apparently it is the new 12.  For those of you who wonder if number five gets any attention this picture should answer your question.  The whole family was there to cheer him on when he took his first crawl.  He may not get as much individual attention from his parents, but he gets a ton of attention.  He started crawling at 11.5 months.  Now I remember why I'm glad to have children that take their time to get moving.  He has already started pulling things out of drawers and destroying (or eating) anything he can get his hands on.  Good thing he is so dang cute!!

Nine Months Ago . . .

I can't believe it.  My dad died nine months ago.  In fact, I still can't really even wrap my mind around the fact that he is dead.  It is still almost eery to go to my parents house or to drive up worm creek canyon without him.  In a way it feels wrong to be on his stomping ground without him pointing out the blossoms and the wildlife that none of us would have seen without his good eye.  It is weird to not having him telling the kids to put on real shoes (rather than sandals) or to wear pants (rather than shorts.)  I made cabbage salad for mothers day wishing I could leave some for him because he would love it.  It feels empty at mom's without him.  We all miss him a lot.  It is mostly the little things.  Like wishing he were there to help me carry the kids out to the car and buckle them in when it's time to leave.  Or riding in the back of mom's truck without him jumping in the drives seat and yelling at us to sit down.

A lot has changed on the farm in the past nine months.  It has been really hard on all of us, but it has been especially difficult for mom.  The secondary losses have each been so painful as the realty of his death becomes a little more real with each additional loss.  All of the cattle are now sold, including the one that was late to come off the range and ran wild, in moms hay field, with her calf all winter. We were blessed to find a man that paid a great price for the cattle and calves last fall.  As generous as the buyer was, it was still painful to watch them go.

The farm equimpment is mostly liquidated now.  I helped mom list it on KSL this spring.  We had offers from the local farm machinery stores so we had an idea of how much to ask, but it was impossible for us to give any details about the miles, the year, the special way to put it together, etc.  On the adds I put something like "dad died last fall.  As far as we know it ran when he died.  We don't know any details."  Even with that kind of explanation things have still sold. The day dad's tractor was taken moms heart broke once again. The man who purchased the bailer had heard what a wonderful person my dad was.  He was also told about my moms license plate which has always read "C IVAGO."  He had a bumper sticker made for the bailer which also read "C IVAGO."

Selling the horses was so painful for my mom and sisters.  It simbolized so much more than the sale of a family "pet." It is the end of a way of life.  The end of what might have been.  My mom has always had horses.  She has cried buckets over loosing that part of her life.  Even selling the farm equipment, for which there was little personal attachement, simbolized the loss of what I thought my kids would know. Who is going to teach Caleb how to work!!  Dad left the barn full of hay which has proven to be a nice savings account.  Good hay is worth a small fortune these days. Connie has worked hard this winter and spring listing and selling it load by load.

Now that most things have been sold mom can start thinking about "the rest of her life."  She has always said that the farm was dad's thing and that she was only there because he wouldn't go anywhere else.  Now we will see what she decides to do.  Living on 115 acres in the mountains is more than a place to live - it is a way of life.  A way of life that is really difficult and lonely for a single woman.  We'd all like her to stay because of our emotional attachment to the location, but we also know that it would be in her best interest to sell.  We will see what this summer brings.

Dad's head stone was put in a few weeks ago.  It is beautiful.  I love that it is bench style.

We stopped by on mothers day.  It is nice to pay tribute, but here isn't there. We do love him and miss him!

One source of therapy for me over the past few months has been working on the book pictured below, a tribute to my dad.  Cathie's Sister-In-Law, Kristen, suggested we gather quotes and stories at dads funeral.  She was so inspired and provided an incredible service to us.  She is the saint that put the book together. (While her husband was deployed and her fourth child was a new born.) Cathie and I did spend many hours working on the book as well.  I organized and edited all of the text.  It was so rewarding for me to read the tributes and stories over and over and to think about how to organize them just right.  Cathie labeled pictures and provided additional editing on the text.  It was a labor of love for us and we hope that we can preserve some of the great and quirky personality traits of my dad.

Life is an interesting journey.  I am so grateful for the knowledge I have that God has a plan and that families are forever.  I know that my dads spirit is still living and I find great comfort in knowing that he is a guardian angel for us when we need him.  There have been times when I've thought, "its okay.  My dad is on the other side and if I need help he will be there."  Once this winter I was driving in a terrible snow storm with the entire family in the car.  I felt comfort in knowing that if the car spun out of control my dad would take the wheel and that we would be okay.  I really do believe that he is in a great place and he can see and be with us.  It is fine for him - it is just crappy for us.

Another thing that has changed a lot in the past 9 months is this big guy.  He is almost a year and still not crawling.  I guess it is genetic.  The "backwards crawl"gets him in some tight spots, but he is always adorable and practically perfect in every way!

He doesn't even mind when he is all twisted up in his toy basket.  Life is good for John Kirk.

Four pounds

I took Ali and John to the doctor last week for well visits.  I knew that they were getting really close in size.  John just sits and smiles.  He talks and giggles, and in just the last couple of weeks, at the age of 10 months, he has started rolling over consistently.  I'm not complaining that he doesn't crawl.  I love that he just sits there.  On the other hand Ali is ALWAYS moving.  She is jumping or running constantly.  I refer to her as my jumping bean.  She never stops moving.  I had to laugh when Johnny weighed in at 23 lbs and Ali at 27 lbs.  Yes, he is 10 months, and she is 3 and they have a four pound difference.  Johnny will have to walk before he gets much bigger.  I'm not sure I want to lug around much more weight. He sure is cute though.  We all love him so much.

Cara said the cutest thing the other day.  She told me that she has decided to start drinking water at school rather than milk.  I asked why and she said, "It says free fat on the carton. I don't want fat."  I reassured her that it doesn't have fat and that she could have it.  That same evening I offered to pick up some pizza for dinner for the kids.  She told me that she didn't want any pizza because it has too much fat.  I have to admit that I worry about her being on a slippery slope with diet.  So far she hasn't brought body image into it and I do encourage making healthy choices.  I hope we can keep it all in perspective.  She is a good example of healthy choices for me.

Last night after a bath Ali came out wearing this outfit.  (Doesn't she have a great sense of fashion?)  The funny part about it is that she is wearing Cara's shirt.  I heard for the first time "She's wearing my shirt!"  I wanted to document it because I bet I hear "She's wearing my shirt!" about a thousand more times over the next 15 years and it all started last night.

A trip to the big city

We had to get away for spring brake.  We did a little Salt Lake City trip.  We kicked it off with lunch at Chuck-E-Cheese.  Almost as good as Disneyland for the kids. 

The girls got Pedicures and Manicures at NIMA from Aunt Christina.

We stayed at a hotel in South Salt Lake for three nights.  Just the experience of staying in a hotel is something that the kids love.  Swimming first thing in the morning and last thing in the evening is really all they need, but we did get a two day connect pass and enjoyed some culture.

The Museum of Ancient Life at Thanksgiving Point is amazing!  Caleb was really looking forward to going there, and it didn't disappoint.

It was great to go to lunch at the Lion House on Temple Square with my Aunt Merle.  

Merle also took us to the 26th floor of the church office building, where she works, to check out the view.

We were so glad it turned out to be a nice day so that we could check out Baby Animal Season at This is the Place park.  We met Aunt Christina and Rory there.

Johnny was excited about the little chick.  Notice Josh is keeping it safe.

The crowds were really small so we even had enough time to hit the zoo before heading back to the hotel for the evening.  The polar bear is such a crowd pleaser.

Day two of the connect pass was much more laid back.  The kids enjoyed a few hours at the Discovery Gateway Children's Museum after we caught an iMax show about the Hubble telescope.

Before we checked in for some swimming Josh insisted that we go to the Museum of Natural History, which is new and really quite amazing.

On our final day we got to spend some time, between conference sessions, having dinner with my Aunt Vickie and her family.  I love seeing my cousins and my extended family.  I am grateful to have so many childhood memories with my aunts and cousins and it is always wonderful to spend time with them.

Check, check, check, check, our annual trip of culture and museums is complete and successful!

A Beautiful Easter

I love nice warm spring weather!  I'm grateful that it was beautiful weather for Easter.  Somehow the sun coming out just puts a smile on my face.  We are also lucky to live close enough to family to celebrate with both the Owen's and the Kirks for most holidays.

My mom always provides an awesome Easter Egg Hunt for the kids.  We also colored eggs with the Owen's this year.  Somehow coloring eggs is a little less painful with more adults around.

We were at home for Easter this year so we went to the Millville Easter Egg Hunt.  It was awesome!!  The crowd was very small, in fact, I had Andy and Ali come to the 6-7 group with Cara, and they had a whole section of park all to themselves.  It was a beautiful and and we were able to spend the rest of Saturday at mom's house. 

Sunday we had hunt number three and Aunt Christina brought the kids Easter Baskets.  Ali loved sporting her beautiful princess earrings.

John is such a sport!  He is happy to be a part of the fun and enjoyed sitting in the warm sun hitting two eggs together.

You wouldn't believe how many pictures we had to take to get one with everyone looking in the same general direction, with their hands out of their mouths and faces, and somewhat pleasant looks on their faces?  How did people do it before digital cameras!?

I keep smiling about a conversation I had with Caleb and Cara on Saturday night.  They cornered me in the kitchen and asked, "Is the Easter Bunny real?"  In our family I have never even mentioned gifts coming from the Easter Bunny.  They do each receive a few small gifts on Easter morning.  (This year those who needed swim suits got a swim suit and the others each got an outfit.  They got sun glasses, flip flops and a little candy.)  I told them he was not.  That sent Cara off on a tangent about how she know he couldn't be "that hop, hop, hopping from house to house would be impossible.  Santa has rein deer, and they are fast, so that is totally possible."  She had so much to say on the matter.  I was dying it was so cute!  I even took a seat near Caleb at the bar and Cara also pulled up a stool.  This was a conversation that she wanted to be a part of!!  Next, Caleb launched into leprechauns. "Are leprechauns real?"  I'd never even heard of mischievous leprechauns until my kids went to school.  I didn't have to answer because Cara knew all of the answers from here on out.  "Of course they are," she told him. I wish I could remember the details, but she KNEW that they were real.  Caleb wanted to know if I ate the pepper from the leprechaun trap last year.  I told him that I don't like peppers, true.  Next he asked about the tooth fairy.  Cara was pretty sure that the tooth fairy is real and Caleb was pretty sure that she isn't.  They had so much to say that they didn't even require me to answer.  When they would turn to me I'd ask what they thought.  My final answer was that THE MAGIC IS IN BELIEVING.  I tried to scoot Cara off to bed before Caleb got into more questions.  Caleb and I spent a little more time talking about the tooth fairy and Santa.  I guess I have reached a new level in parenting.  They are so cute!  It is fun to be the creator of MAGIC. 

How things change

I've become increasingly aware of how things change over time.  Ever so slightly or lives are in a constant state of change, sometimes for the better and other times for the worse.  Usually the change is so gradual that we can't notice day to day, it seems that all of a sudden things are just different.  Kids getting bigger is a perfect example.   Things like loosing or gaining weight, money in savings or debt on the credit card, even dust on the book shelf. Those things we hardly notice day to day, but those things that also make a big difference in our lives.

I've always known that parenting philosophies and especially practices change with time.  Even having my kids close together I can't avoid the fact that I am different with my older ones than I am with my littler ones.  One small example is Johnny's hair.  I would have never let Caleb's hair get long like I did Johnny's.  I started cutting Caleb's hair monthly at six months.  Johnny on the other hand just got his first hair cut at 10 months.  I kept it trimmed around the ears, but I just couldn't give up that head of adorable baby hair.  Or maybe I just didn't want him to look so grown up.

Regan has been our nanny for the past month.  She has been so kind with the kids and helpful around the house.  I am in heaven with the extra help.  Unfortunately for us Regan is moving back East for a and finishing her time with us, but before she left I had her give John his first hair cut.  (She is also a beauty school graduate.)

Last night we got the kids set up with their bikes for the summer.  Before having kids you think of them needing new cloths each season because they grow out of them, but I'm not sure we thought about them growing out of their bikes.  I pointed out to Josh, "look at all them money we are saving by having five kids.  One kid grows out of a bike and we just pass it on to the next one."  I said, "we are saving so much money we are practically making money."  Of course it is all a joke, but hand-me-downs are a wonderful thing, and not just for cloths.  Here Cara is showing off her "new" bike since she has grown out of last years bike.

Andy is also moving up in bike sizes.  He has been using and LOVING his balance bike.  What he doesn't know yet is that he is balancing and doesn't need training wheels.  It should only be a few weeks before he is set and going on two wheels.  The little two wheeler and balance bike will be too small for him so Ali will be moving into it.  We had a cute tiny pink one for Cara, but she is a bike riding fool and totally wore it out so no one tell Ali that she is riding a boy bike.

I don't think she would really care about the boy bike thing.  Notice she is wearing Johnny's jacket.  I've told her over and over that coat is John's, but she doesn't seem to mind that it a boys coat or that the sleeves are too short.  Of course, she doesn't mind that her shoes are on backwards have of the time either.

Birthday Season

We just had our family birthday season with three birthdays in two weeks.  We kicked off the season with Caleb's birthday on February 28.  Finally, I laid down the law and didn't allow Caleb to have a friend birthday party, or anyone to have a friend party.  It was so much less stressful for me!  Josh was traveling over Caleb's birthday and I was traveling for Ali and Cara's birthdays so we just couldn't add to the craziness.

Caleb turned 9.  Every once and a while I think he is growing up, but mostly he continues to pull the same old junk.  He fights with me every day about doing his homework and hates to practice the piano.  He would do almost anything to get out of helping and chores.  He is an expert at stalling.  He has more excuses up his sleeve than I ever thought imaginable.  He is always willing to do his homework "later." When later roles around he is still unwilling.  Luckily he is really smart and social.  I am just struggling to teach him discipline.

Caleb thinks that he should have a theme cake every year.  Art is NOT my thing.  I let him decide and we work on it together.  This year he wanted a trampoline since we went to the trampoline park for his birthday.

Caleb and his BFF Isaac jumping at the park.  I loved that Caleb just had one friend.  We went to dinner at his very favorite restaurant after jumping, Golden Coral.  He pigs out on shrimp and steak and dessert.  I always feel like I've gotten my money's worth with him.

One of Caleb's greatest strengths is playing.  He can play with anyone.  Of course he prefers his friends, but he has a great time with his siblings too.  He even managed to put together his lego birthday present with his sibling committee.

Ali's birthday was next on March 8.  She loves all of the gifts and attention that her birthday brings.  Grandma Iva always gives great gifts including this darling doll and wagon.

Ali is so independent and getting more and more helpful all of the time.  She is strong willed, but I'm sure the things that are making her one of my harder preschoolers will be the things that are going to make her a fantastic person.

I have been wanting to get the kids and electric car for some time.  Caleb has been begging me to get one for Andy.  One day I walked into Walmart and they were selling this $350 car for $125.  I couldn't resist.  It is adorable.  It has a real radio and real lights.  What kid wouldn't want their own red sports car?  It was Ali's birthday but it was as much for Andy (who's birthday isn't until September) as it was for Ali.  Now we just need the weather to get nice so they can really enjoy it. Josh has always wanted a sports car kit to build his own car.  Hopefully this will satisfy his desire.

  Don't they look cute and happy? Andy had a pain in the back of his knee for a few weeks which left him limping terribly.  I'm not really sure what happened, but it was awesome that he had a car!

Cara's birthday was March 15. She did got plenty of celebration even though hers was last of the three birthdays in a row.  The highlight was that Emi, her only girl cousin near her age came to visit from Alaska.  They had a fantastic time together at Grandmas house.  

Merle bought the little girl cousins matching Easter dresses.  Getting a picture of Ali and Kate is always a challenge even though they are so so cute.

Emi and Cara were much easer to get to hold still and smile for a picture.

Here they are all together Emi, Cara, Lena, Ali and Kate.

Even without birthdays this month would have been insanely busy.  I have been doing Diamond Club  and teaching many more essential oil classes than normal (due to the fact that the company is reimbursing a portion of my travel expenses.)  I love really love teaching the classes and helping to improved people's lives in a positive way.  I feel like I have been so blessed in my journey with essential oils and I am constantly receiving confirmations that I am on the right path.  I am so grateful for this opportunity even though it is creating a crazy home life for a few months.  I know that the little sacrifices we are making right now will create huge opportunities in the future.

Every three years I have the opportunity to attend a reunion/overnight retreat for the CES program I worked for while I was in college, Academy for Girls.  Academy was a highlight in my life and these reunions help me to become refocused on my priorities and to remember that it is the little things we do every day that will lead us to exultation.  I was open to having the feeling that I should not be dedicating so much time to my business when I was at the reunion.  I was open to feeling guilty and cutting back if the spirit so directed, but it further confirmed to me that I am on the right life journey for me.  I was so inspired by my time at the retreat.  I came away with three goals for improvement in my life:

1. I will make reading and sharing the Book of Mormon a priority in my life.  We were challenged to give away a Book of Mormon before this retreat.  I am not the scriptorian I used to be and I haven't given away a Book of Mormon for a very long time.  I gave it to a friend in Alaska who has been going through a tough time.  It was easy and wonderful.  It reminded me that sharing the gospel is the most important thing to share with people.  It is a wonderful thing to testify that our understanding of Jesus Christ and of his Atonement will be strengthened as we study the Book of Mormon.  It felt amazing to give away such a gift, and I want to seek for those opportunities more often.  I strongly believe that if we are seeking and praying for opportunites to testify and to share the gospel they will come.  I used to know the scriptures so well.  I need to rededicate myself to gospel study.

2. I am dedicated to making my personal Sabbath Day observance more purposeful and meaningful.  I taught a class on Sabbath observance and felt the spirt confirm to me that the lives of those who spend their day in service, study, the building of family and faith will be blessed.  I feel like keeping the Sabbath Day Holy is so much more than a "to do" and "do not do" list.  Sabbath Day observance is not so much a day of rest as it is a day of service and of spiritual progress.  I want to apply these principles more fully in my life.

3.  I phrased my third goal as follows: I CHOOSE to life with PURPOSE and come what may and love it." We can't control everything in our lives, but we can control how we respond to it.  I will respond with a positive attitude and look forward with faith and hope.

I am so grateful for talented friends who make this retreat a reality.  I could never possibly explain how amazing it is, but one of the gals who planned and hosted it posted pictures and some great thoughts on her blog if you're interested:  TheVintageMother.com. 

The kids are busy with school.  Caleb did a "Sound Waves" project for the science fair.  He was proud of his project and he should have been.  He and Josh spent many hours on it.  The poster wasn't quite what I had in mind.  It is interesting to let my children to learn to do things on their own.  Josh and Caleb also "bonded" working on his Pinewood Derby car this month.  It got the award for being the "Fastest Looking" but it wasn't the fastest.  So many things to do!

Cara Update

I was so frustrated with my testing experience at USU for Cara as expressed in the previous blog entry.  I expressed my frustration and got a meeting with the Early Childhood Department Head, who happens to be a leading specialist in reading, as well as the Director of USU After School Tutoring Program. The two of them spent more than 90 minutes with me and went over all of the data I have gathered from the schools testing as well as the testing they did.  

By definition she is dyslexic.  The only thing we can do is give her lots of practice and the opportunity to master one skill at a time.  She will progress slower than the other kids, but she should progress.  Skill mastery before moving on is imperative.  They also believe that her speech and reading delays are absolutely related.  After reviewing how much reading help she is getting at school they don't even think that the after school program is a good idea.  It was wonderful to have them really take a look at the data!

Following are my major "take-away's" from meeting with Dr. Reutzel.  

1. She is being bombarded with too many programs that are unaligned.  Each program has it's own objectives, language, cues, etc.  She needs to work on a single objective, in a variety of ways, until she masters it.  She is currently doing four different reading programs at school and being pulled from the classroom 90 minutes a day.  She is doing reading over three hours per day. (He sent me home with a published research article entitled, Does Instructional Alignment Matter? It can be found in The Elementary School Journal volume 112 number 2 page 259.)

2. FOCUS on a chosen program and even if you use materials from a variety of programs make connections to the common objective.

3. She needs to start back at the basics and not move on until she has mastered each skill.  She needs to go all the way back to letter names and not move on until she first has accuracy and then fluency.  Then move on to blending.  First shoot for accuracy and then fluency etc.

4. Teach her through modeling.  Most teachers say, 1) sound it out, 2) give the child the word, 3) interrogation, sound it out, 4) look for cues to figure out the word.  What we should be doing is modeling (thinking out loud) how to decode a word.  "Watch me, this is how I figure out this word.  This letter is d it says d. This letter is o, it says o. Together they say do.  The last letter is g.  Together they say d o g.  dog."

5. Perceptual Reasoning (Block Design, Picture Concepts, Matrix Reasoning, Picture Completion) are a huge strength for her.  Whenever possible we need to capitalize on that strength.

6. Her IQ is high enough that she may have some success with whole language.  We me want to implement some whole language memorization for high frequency words.

He sent me home with two research papers he has published on topics he felt were relevant to Cara's situation.  The second article is titled "Behind test scores: What struggling readers really need"  Published in The Reading Teacher Volume 57, Number 6, March 2004 page 520.  Her hearing has been tested before, but she will have a full auditory test at USU on March 20 to eliminate a hearing impairment because she is getting further and further behind in speech.