Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Life must go on

We have spent a lot of time at my moms house over the past few weeks.  There is an empty feeling in my heart.  I have hardly cried at all since the funeral, but my grief has manifest itself in the form of a headache.  I have also been having a harder time getting things done.  I want to be with my mom when possible, and getting away without all of the kids has put some stress on our family.  Josh has been a great support though, and I have enjoyed taking a couple of kids with me to moms house at a time.  

Mom is not sure about a lot of things in her future, but she is sure she doesn't want to stay on the farm in Glendale.  She wants to be close to people and living so far away on so much land provides more than a place to live, it is a lifestyle that in many ways is better with a man.  Even though mom is sure she wants to move the idea of selling stuff is very difficult for her.  It is requiring me to exercise some patience as I wait for mom to be ready to move forward.  It is really sad to think that my kids will not have the farming, cowboy Grandpa I always wanted for them.  

We celebrated Andy's birthday at my mom's house.  He was very happy with his store bought "Angry Birds" cake, a few little gifts and some extra attention.  When I asked him what he wanted for his birthday he thought and said, "a cake and a shirt like you got for your birthday."  So easy to please.  We even got him a toy!

Isn't it wonderful to be four!  He isn't the perfect child that he was a year ago, but he is still a great joy in my life.  If he didn't tease Ali constantly, and if he would eat "real" foods rather than just cheese and granola bars he would be so much easier.

Josh puts the kids to bed at night.  He usually reads them a book or two.  I am grateful for that help because I 8:00 I am spent.  I just want the kitchen clean and to take some time for myself.  (When I put the kids to bed Josh doesn't clean so it is best if he takes the bedtime job.)  All four of them "read" every night.  I gathered a collection of books in college as an el ed major.  They have wore them out.

When we moved Caleb, Andy and Cara down stairs in the spring Ali was supposed to have her own bedroom upstairs and John has.  Over time Ali has evolved to sleeping down stars on Cara's trundle.  Ali just can't stand that they are all down stairs without her.

I have a thumb sucker!  I'm not really sure how I feel about it.  Caleb was a binky lover.  Loosing his binky was like the end of the world so compared to that it is wonderful that John's pacifier is attached to his hand.  Cara, Andy and Ali didn't need a pacifier, in fact it made them mad when I would try to give them one.  There is an advantage to not having to take away something a baby is dependent on.  At about three months John started finding his thumb on a regular basis and now he has it in his mouth whenever he puts himself to sleep without being bundled.  I do take it out and replace it with the binky, but he finds it again the next time he needs it.  Yet another thing never to judge a mother on.  Kids just do their own thing.

Johnny has become an awesome smiler.  His eyes are so bright and he loves to give his toothless grin, but mostly he loves to talk.  He thinks that everyone is talking to him and he does a lot of cooing back.  He is so fun.

John is growing like crazy.  He weighs in at just under 15 lbs at 4 months.  He is such a joy to all of us!

Every year we try to hit at least one USU football game, and usually it is homecoming because I get discount game tickets and go to the leadership reunion luncheon.  The kids love the luncheon because they give door prizes.  This year we won a football.  Josh and Caleb took it outside to play and Josh promptly threw it into the water fountain on campus.  Once we decided it wasn't going to return to us, and with a little coaxing Caleb decided to retrieve it.  He has that football in his hands constantly!  He is obsessed.

I dressed the kids all up in their Aggie gear missing the memo that it was a "white out" game and everyone was supposed to wear white.  Oh well, they were cute anyway.

Johnny was a perfect baby for his first football game.  The night and the weather were beautiful.

It was a packed crowd, but we got front row seats which is great for wiggly little kids.  Gabe and Lexa come and brought lots of candy too so that helps!

The Aggies won and the kids loved every minute of the game.  The day pooped them right out!

I am teaching one of my favorite Joy School units this month, Joy of the Earth.  I love the beautiful fall weather and exploring the beauty of the season with the Joy School kids.  Ali really likes to show off and makes teaching a little harder than it should be, but preschool kids are so dang cute!