Monday, June 7, 2010

If three doesn't kill you . . .

I have been told that if having three kids doesn’t kill you then having four will. It was really the transitions to one and two that were tough for me, and currently it is number one and number two, namely Caleb and Cara that continue to make life crazy. Andy and Ali are a breeze. I really don’t think my life is much harder with Andy and Ali than it would be with just Caleb and Cara. One thing I have found with four kids is that I almost never get all of the laundry done in one day. I used to do all laundry on Mondays, but now I do it all on Monday but I have a bonus load or two on Fridays too.

When I see other people walking around in a store or on another outing with four little kids I look at them and think they must be insane. How could they possibly go with one adult and four kids six and under to the store? But somehow it seems like no problem when it is me. Caleb pushes an extra cart so that we have room for food (which in a way makes it better than when I go with just Andy and Ali.) This strategy also keeps him from running around. I may not look like I have things under control. (Like to the people waiting in line while we were trying to pick a movie at Red Box today. It was Cara’s turn to pick and none of the movies she wanted were in that particular box. Caleb was trying to talk her into letting him pick as the line got longer and longer and then of course there was the fight about who was going to get the movie out of the vending machine.) BUT usually I feel like I have things under control.

There is one major exception to my feeling of control and order and that is CHURCH. I feel like a crazy person at church. This is really mean to Josh, but I love to sit in the mothers room during Sacrament Meeting, and I need to anyway so that Ali is content for both hours of primary. Sacrament meeting is madness. We have simplified. We don’t bring treats or any activity beyond paper and pencils. That has helped allot, but the kids are still loud and crazy. Andy’s anxiety about nursery has made matters worse and it is a constant battle in primary with Caleb. He wants to follow me around rather than sit with his class. This week we dropped Andy off at nursery and Josh went to teach his primary class. After about 10 minutes I was getting ready to go up to teach sharing time. Caleb came to the back of the primary room as they brought Andy in, he wouldn’t stop crying. I asked Caleb to hold Andy and he banged his head against the wall. I must have had a look of terror on my face because the nursery leader promptly took Andy from Caleb without saying a word and we didn’t see Andy again. Oh the irony, Caleb and Cara both went to nursery perfectly. Now that Josh and I are both busy both hours Andy is freaking out.

With the exception of Church, Andy is the perfect kid. He just exists. He follows the other kids around and is almost always happy. He loves to dance and play basketball. Yesterday Josh was channel surfing at my parents and he came across a basketball game. Andy started screaming and clapping and laughing. He was so happy to watch the playoffs. He isn’t just a ball kid, he is a basketball kid. Easily, his favorite toy is the basketball hoop. Tonight I had the garbage can out and he was trying to shoot hoops from his high chair with his food. Andy has changed my world. He is the baby that made me want to have another one right away and he is the toddler that is making having four little kids manageable.

I don’t think Cara can be called “Sweet Caroline” any more. She has entered a very difficult stage. She scrams, cries, and complains. She has turned into the kind of girly girl that I have always bragged she wasn’t. She plays with her cute girlfriends out in the cul-de-sac and they have a great time being girly together. She went to her friend Taylor’s fourth birthday party last week. They wore dancing outfits and Taylor’s mom gave them darling tutu’s and fairy wings. They did make-up and fingernails; they made bracelets, and put glitter in their hair. The three of them came to the door after the party and informed me that they had come for me to take their picture.

Caleb continues to be my challenge. I pray that Heavenly Father will help me to teach him how to control his body and to respect people. I took him to a counselor last month to see if we could get some professional guidance. We came to no conclusion except that I am going to have to exercise super human parenting skills to guide him. He has so much energy that needs to be channeled. I am hopeful that the more involved he becomes extra curricularly as he gets older the better off we will all be. I have wondered if he has a sleep disorder because more often than not it takes him hours to fall asleep. I believe that is partially responsible for his mood swings and possibly also for his bedwetting. When I have mentioned this to my pediatrician he blows me off, but we don’t have insurance that would cover any testing so I am not sure I want to go to the expense of finding out if my hypothesis is right anyway. We seem to be on a good system this summer. He has certain jobs he has to do every day and he earns points for each job. He has to do the jobs before he can play outside, get on the computer or play video games, but if he does them without resisting he gets more points. When he gets to 100 points we will go swimming. We could potentially go swimming every week.

Ali is just a little joy. We all love her so much. She is the model “Baby Wise” baby. She eats at 8:00, 10:30, 1:00, 4:00, 7:00 and 10:00. She sleeps though the night. She almost never cries. She knows I will feed her with out her crying and after she eats she enjoys her awake time. When she starts to fuss I bundle her up and put her in her crib for a nap. How easy is that? She really is about that easy. Breast-feeding has been going much better for me this time than before. I think there are two major reasons why I don’t hate it as bad. First, she doesn’t bite. Andy and Cara were both biters. Second, I give her a bottle for her 1:00 feeding and for her 7:00 feeding. That is a nice brake for me. She is passed around and held by people of all sizes. The primary kids race to me after church to get her. She is a great sport about it all. She is the perfect baby so I will just enjoy that while it lasts. At her two-month well child visit she was 11 lbs. 3 oz. in the 50%. Here she is giving Grandpa Arnold one of her sweet smiles.


Erica said...

I'm so happy for you and your babies. And I have noticed that in Cara, she threw a kicking and screaming fit at my house today because Caleb didn't share. Don't worry the mood swings are only just beginning. haha! I'm so glad four hasn't killed you. You are doing a great job.

Stephanie said...

That picture of Ali and her great-grandpa is so priceless!!! It is one to keep forever! I love your blogs! Your kids make me smile!! Luv ya!

Diane said...

Figuring out how to help each child with their specific needs can be so difficult. I only have two, and they keep me busy, so I can only imagine what four will be like one day. Ali looks so gorgeous! Love her sweet little smile. Thank goodness for a happy little toddler who knows to go easy on his mama - for now.

Karlenn said...

Ah, church with teeny kids. Such a joy. Sometimes I wonder why we bother going, but I figure that the kids will remember that we ALWAYS went to church, no matter what. I'm glad that Andy is happy when he's not in nursery. I wonder if Caleb has ADHD... He sounds a lot like Dylan. I got Dylan tested through the school district, so it was zero money. I'm glad I did - his medication helps our family soo much. Dylan has this power to ruin family life as we know it. Sorry Cara is having some Dr. Jekyl/Mr. Hyde moments. Sadie has those, too. And Ali is a doll. I love Baby Wise. My salvation. I loved this post, Care!

Andrea said...

Later, when they're all perfectly well-behaved, no one will believe your tales so you need to document it all on video and make little movie collages to remind yourself of what a great mother you were back then.